Home Featured If your parents refuse to accept help or advice, here are some tips on how to cope.

If your parents refuse to accept help or advice, here are some tips on how to cope.

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If your parents refuse to accept help or advice, here are some tips on how to cope.


It was a terrible mistake. Kim Sylvester, however, thought that she was doing what was right at the time.

Harriet Burkel was 80 years old and had broken her pelvis in a fall at her Raleigh, North Carolina home. She went to a rehabilitation facility to recover. It was only days after the death of Burkel’s 82-year-old husband, who’d moved into a memory care facility three years before.

Sylvester watched in increasing distress as her mother, suffering from emphysema, peripheral arterial disease and a frailty, became increasingly isolated. “I would say, ‘Can I help you?’ And my mother would say, ‘No, I can do this myself. I don’t need anything. I can handle it,’” Sylvester told me.

Sylvester could now get more information. She let herself into her mother’s home and went through all the paperwork she could find. “It was a shambles — completely disorganized, bills everywhere,” she said. “It was clear things were out of control.”

Sylvester sprang into action, terminating her mother’s orders for anti-aging supplements, canceling two car warranty insurance policies (Burkel wasn’t driving at that point), ending a yearlong contract for knee injections with a chiropractor, and throwing out donation…



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